Cue Pieces by Sum 41. Have always been a sucker for this band. Bonus points if you can guess my favorite song of theirs!
As I approach my 30s, a lot my healing has had emphasis on the firefighters and managers trying to put out the flames of the chaos that has ensued throughout my life. The managers, of course, attempt to keep stability yet often causing at least some harm doing so and the firefighters using impulse to get through the big or really uncomfortable feelings which are often more harmful than good and often seem more fun or familiar to us millennials who grew up with social media AND classic Lifetime movies. Both of these parts exist within our internal family system- which is basically the parts of us we have developed to cope with the world around us and internal turmoil that we struggle with.
My Managers
You know the mini-Bobs in SpongeBob’s brain who try to control everything and then it all ends up in flames? Pretty sure that’s an accurate depiction of my own brain throughout most of my life. My managers may have good intentions but man do they f*** up a lot. My inner critic constantly reminds me of everything I’ve ever done wrong. The perfectionist tag-teams with procrastinator (which is one of those firefighters who does whatever they can think of to feel better yet usually doesn’t work or help in any way) to ensure a deliciously dysfunctional combo. Then add in the people-pleaser who throughout my life would happily complete seppuku as a means of controlling and making things better and you end up with the nerdy emo chick who references random Japanese/anime culture.
My Firefighters
Hi I’m Marissa. I’m a food, sex, shop, and workaholic and these addictions have been my escape since Brand New’s The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me released almost two decades ago. Addictions are tools we use to feel better than how we actually feel yet end up usually causing some form destruction along the way. Whether it be personal, relational, financial, etc. Impulsivity can be fun though it does have its consequences. Just think about the long hours we spent sexting on Vampire Freaks and Omegle… if only we knew then what we know now.
These parts of our internal family systems may look different for everyone. Our parts also come in the form of familial roles like the caretaker, or the golden child. Sometimes it’s our inner child or inner teen begging to break free or be heard. Could be the reckless young adult doing whatever the hell we want. Starting to identify who exists within your internal family system is a big part of the healing journey. We will definitely be exploring more of these parts in the coming weeks!